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Mar. 21st, 2009

  • 3:47 PM
Lonely antelope
Yes, thank you for celebrating my birthday ...

Which Were Animal Would You Be?

  • Feb. 28th, 2009 at 3:31 PM
Astro



You are a Were-Horse!

50% horse, 10% wolf, 30% rat, 20% tiger, 40% leopard, 30% fox and 30% bear!

You are best suited to be a Were-Horse!

Horses are prey animals. They have great survivor instincts, however. Even though they are fearful they will do whatever they can to protect themselves from predators. They are very strong, social, and intelligent.Horses are also very free-spirited animals. They have acute senses and are always aware of their environment.

As a were-horse you won't be attacking people and eating flesh during your change. But any free field of grass is going to be fair game!


Take Which Were Animal Would You Be? Test
at HelloQuizzy


Another day...

  • Jan. 24th, 2009 at 12:06 PM
Astro

Busy

  • Dec. 20th, 2008 at 2:07 PM
Turning back whale

I am a snake !!

  • Dec. 7th, 2008 at 8:49 PM
Astro




You Are a Snake



You have extraordinarily sharp senses.

You sense what's going on almost before it happens.



You connect with the world. People instantly feel close to you.

You are a natural protector. You take good care of your friends.



You are an ambitious person. Your ambitious drives you.

But while you are ambitious, you are also humble. You are thankful for everything you have.

Weird Encounter

  • Oct. 26th, 2008 at 10:43 PM
Webcam
Was walking back at night.

There was this young man (in early twenties) who approached me, asking me how much for a massage. Well, I did not expect anyone to say that.

Faint... Do I look like a masseur?

I told him bluntly that if he wants a massage, it will cost him 1000 bucks (maybe I will consider). He got my hint and left.

Sometimes I wonder..


I'm (will) not be weird

  • Oct. 24th, 2008 at 10:21 PM
Lonely antelope
I ask..
I desire..
I long for..
I dream of..

I engage in little chat, only to be misunderstood
I need to change..
I need to be understood..

And I will try..


handwriting analysis... true or false...

  • Oct. 20th, 2008 at 1:52 AM
Astro

Welcome Bry , here is your handwriting analysis.

 Bry has difficulty making decisions. His mind changes constantly. He lives in an emotional tug of war. Bry could be described like a thermometer. Today warm and friendly, yet tomorrow he may be distant and cold, not wanting to be close to anyone.

Some research indicates that people with a severe variety in the slant of their handwriting have an inability to tolerate sugar and are suffering the side-effects of too much sugar in their diet. If moods swings are a reoccurring issue, investigate the diet.

If Bry encounters a situation he cannot handle he frequently pulls into himself. He feels his emotions are secure if he is withdrawn. When he has solved the problem he can be very outgoing and again need other people's companionship. Some see Bry as very moody, but it it would be more accurate to say he has two complete personalities that he chooses depending on the circumstance. This type of person is often hard to understand because no one knows what personality he is exhibiting today. He may not be bothered by something one minute, then the next minute become upset at the same thing. It is very difficult to pin down Bry's emotional expressiveness.

 People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Bry doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

 Bry will be candid and direct when expressing his opinion. He will tell them what he thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want his opinion, don't ask for it!

 Bry has an over-awareness of self. He often feels self-conscious. He fears ridicule, therefore he is careful not to place himself in a position to receive any ridicule. He wonders what people will think if he acts in a certain manner. When encountering a new group of people, Bry may stay on the sidelines until he has the people categorized, or he may behave in a "positive attention getting" manner to assure people think good thoughts about him from the start.

In the sales profession, this self-consciousness is called "call reluctance". They take the word "no" as a personal criticism. Therefore, there is an internal struggle when performing this type of work. Although this person may be a great salesperson, he still feels insecurity. He will perform better if someone else is with him because the fear of ridicule from his peers is far greater than the fear of ridicule from his clients. Many times this type of person becomes a sales trainer, because when he is training, he doesn't have to put hisself in a position of being told "no" as often as the salesmen do.

 In reference to Bry's mental abilities, he has a very investigating and creating mind. He investigates projects rapidly because he is curious about many things. He gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but he soon must slow down and look at all the angles. He probably gets too many things going at once. When Bry slows down, then he becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, he must slow down to do it. He then decides what projects he has time to finish. Thus he finishes at a slower pace than when he started the project.

He has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. His mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. He can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Bry can then switch into his low gear. When he is in the slower mode, he can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. He is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

 Bry's true self-image is unreasonably low. Someone once told Bry that he wasn't a great and beautiful person, and he believed them. Bry also has a fear that he might fail if he takes large risks. Therefore he resists setting his goals too high, risking failure. He doesn't have the internal confidence that frees him to take risks and chance failure. Bry is capable of accomplishing much more than he is presently achieving. All this relates to his self-esteem. Bry's self-concept is artificially low. Bry will stay in a bad situation much too long... why? Because he is afraid that if he makes a change, it might get worse. It is hard for Bry to plan too far into the future. He kind of takes things on a day to day basis. He may tell you his dreams but he is living in today, with a fear of making a change. No matter how loud he speaks, look at his actions. This is perhaps the biggest single barrier to happiness people not believing in and loving themselves. Bry is an example of someone living with a low self-image, because their innate self-confidence was broken.

 Bry has a very unusual lower zone y loop. If the data input is correct, Bry's y or g is large and opens up to the left side of the page. This is not a common trait, but the implications are very interesting. As you begin to study handwriting analysis, you will learn any loop indicates imagination. This lower loop indicates the amount of imagination Bry has regarding sex and physical things. So, his lower zone stroke is large, so his sexual imagination is large and open. Furthermore, because the loop is incomplete and extends to the left, this indicates a particular fascination with certain aspects of sexuality that have not been fulfilled, yet. In a nutshell, Bry is open to some very new ideas sexually and is willing to try anything once.

Different stages of life..

  • Oct. 20th, 2008 at 12:59 AM
Recycle
Just came back from my NS buddy's wedding dinner. Time flies..

It's hard to believe that we were once young men struggling with army life.

My NS friends are now either married with kids, married or attached..

Do I envy them.. I really do not know..

I suppose I will remain single. Or should I..



I need a ...

  • Oct. 18th, 2008 at 3:41 PM
Webcam

.. a break
.. a partner

Yes

  • Oct. 6th, 2008 at 9:27 PM
Lonely antelope


I'm ready to move on
...

It's officially over

  • Oct. 4th, 2008 at 1:58 PM
Nature light
Yes, it's over.

I ask him not to wait...

cos I'm waiting for someone...

Life as it is

  • Sep. 18th, 2008 at 10:13 PM
Strolling
It has been more than 3 weeks since my baby left this world.

Life as it is,

                   even if it isn't
...

Life goes on

  • Sep. 2nd, 2008 at 11:50 AM
Nature light
I am still on leave. I have not been to office since last Wed and I don't really care. Once a workaholic, I seemed to suddenly lose interest in work. But I know it will be unfair for my colleagues, so yesterday and this morning, I cleared some of the work and emailed them to follow up.

Yesterday night, bro sent me what he wrote for Tweety during the past few days. I did not read it until this morning. He described how Tweety came to our family, the many good and some bad sides of her. Her companionship to me (because I was such an introvert). It added some light touch in the beginning and memories of her flashed into my mind.

As I proceeded to read the bibliography of her life with us till her last few days with us, my heart bled. I felt a sharp sense of pain. Tomorrow... she will be cremated. I do not know how I would react tomorrow.

I know I cannot continue grieving. I think I will keep her pink shirt away after tomorrow.

Tweety, I really wish you are happy.

Sep. 2nd, 2008

  • 9:26 AM
Turning back whale
I received an SMS from my eldest sis in the morning. It was a long message and it really moved me.

The last few years we had a few arguments because of her husband. I thought she no longer cared about me. But her timely message has changed my view.

Your family, no matter how bad the relationship can be, would still be your family. When you need them, you know you can count on them.

Thanks, Everyone.

My heart still hurts

  • Sep. 1st, 2008 at 11:08 AM
Astro
Life seems to be at a standstill.

My brother kept me company these few days. Although he did not say much, I knew he cared and understood my pain. Thanks, bro.

Everyone handled sadness differently. Dad went to work as usual and tried to appear nothing has happened. Mum kept herself busy with housework and I think she slowly kept away Tweety's belongings, except that pink shirt which is still lying on my bed.  Bro kept typing on his laptop and I believed he must be penning his thoughts about Tweety.

Everyone tried not to talk about it (in case I cried again). I tried not to be so solemn and hid away whenever I felt the need to mourn.

Baby, I hope you are happy. When my time is due, we will reunite.

Appreciate your loved ones while you can. It takes a big blow to trigger this. We'll never know when they will leave.
Nature light
backdated to 27 - 29 Aug 2008
====================

This entry is written in loving memory of my beloved dog, tweety. She had, unfortunately, left this world after 3 days of intense struggle between life and death.

Tweety has not been eating since this Mon and Tue and she was terribly weak.

On Wed, I knew I had to take her to the animal clinic. What I did not know, however, was that it would turn out to be a major disruption to my life. The vet did a blood test andtold me that her condition was very serious and she seemed to be suffering from anaemia. her organs also seemed to be deterioating. This was a long time since I cried. She needed a blood transfusion immediately. Thanks to a donor, she had a transfusion on that day. My mum, bro and I went to visit her at the clinic in the evening. However, her condition did not really improve much after the transfusion.

On Thur, I went to visit her in the afternoon. I carried her in the arms and she seemed so weak and fragile. Restless. Apparently she was suffering from immense pain. Her tummy was bloated and the vet said that she required an ultrasound. She was transported to the animal hospital for the scan and the results showed that she had tumor. The vet suggested 2 options - to treat her blood disorder first or to do a surgery to investigate the cancer. I chose to treat her anaemia first after discussion with the vet. The reason was she was simply too weak for the surgery. On my way home, I cried again.

On Fri, I went to visit her in the late morning and the vet told me that her condition was not improving. I had 2 choices then - to put her to sleep immediately or to do surgery (which she may still die during the procedure). Either choice would be a big risk. I asked the vet whether my baby was suffering and she affirmed it. I knew the last resort was to do the surgery since it was the last and only hope. The vet then proceeded to inform me that during the surgery she might still died. Or that when doing the surgery and they found that the cancer had spreaded to other organs, she wanted me to make a decision. To put her to sleep during surgery so that she will not wake up from anaethestic and could then passed away "peacefully". Or to let her wake up from anaethestic and continue suffering from both the cancer and now, the new wound. I could then bring her back and let her die slowly. I asked the vet again whether she would be suffering. She said my baby seemed to be in great pain and suggested that I considered putting her to sleep during the surgery if nothing could be done to save her.

It was about 12.30pm and she asked me to consider and said the surgery would be performed at 2pm. The clinic was closed during lunch. I called everyone in my family. I called my dad, mum and bro to come down to see her last time. I really thanked them for coming because they had to take leave all of a sudden. I told them of the situation and they suggested putting her to sleep.

I told them I was very sure that she had to go to the surgery since it was her (and my) last chance. The only dilemma was that it would be hard for me to put her to sleep during surgery because I can't bear to let her go. But at the end, I decided that if her pain was so intense and she would still die eventually, I should learn to let go, even if I could not.

At 2.15pm, my mum rushed down to carry her for the last time. She told her to go away peacefully. I cried and cried. The vet took my baby to the surgery room and we waited outside. About 10 mins later, one of the staff came out to inform me that her condition was very bad. I went into the surgery and she showed me that the spleen was filled with many abnormal growth and they have affected her liver. The cancer could also be a cause for her anaemia. She  suggested that I should put her to sleep now since she was on anaethestic. At least, this will ensure that she could leave more peacefully.

I cried and cried again. I knew what I had to do. I signed on the form. Then I was told to wait outside while she adminsitered the injection. When it was done, she told me to go in. There my tweety baby was, lying motionlessly on the surgery bed. Everyone of us went to her and we cried. My brother also cried. I held onto her body and kissed her for the last time. I also played the "da bei zou" on my phone so that she could leave peacefully. Time seemed to have come to a standstill.

I took her cage from the clinic and I whispered softly. "Baby, we are going home". Yes, she was going home.

My tweety will be cremated on 3 Sep at 3pm.

176
May 1997 - 29 August 2008

I will always remember you, my baby tweety girl. Take care. I miss you. Life... will never be the same without you. Thanks for spending time with me, filling my lonely nights with love.

He say he'll wait ...

  • Aug. 23rd, 2008 at 2:50 PM
Nature light
He say he'll wait ... So sweet.



Hmmm... what should I do?
Maybe I should just accept...

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Astro
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